my life is better than yours

New Semester, New Fake Goals

2008-02-14T08:46:00.002-08:00

I always like to look at the start of a new semester as chance to find a whole new way to fail. I'm not really sure what that way might be yet but I am guessing it is going to rhyme with "Shmard Licker."

A quick universal anecdote.

You get on the elevator with several other people and just as the doors close, you realize you need to fart. You wait patiently as the elevator stops seemingly on every possible floor and then finally the last person gets off. . . doors close . . . and then booyah, sweet relaxation. Seconds later you arrive on your floor only to realize that there is a megacrowd waiting to get on. There is only one way to deal with this potentially awkward situation. Start panting heavily and claim that the elevator isn't safe.

Why tell this story that you all have experienced, and if you're like Stephen, repeatedly experienced. Because I think God put us on this earth to have little victories like this. Whether it is letting go of some gas or making some fatties take the stairs, I always give my props to Jesus.

My "fake" project this semester which is to completed by March 2013, will be a wedding video for Dave and Lauren. I will have some decisions to make so hopefully I will make those public via blog-town.

Putting the Log Back in Blogging

2007-12-08T23:10:00.000-08:00

What better way to kick off my final exam week than by deciding I am going to blog over the winter about a lofty novelty project that I am going to be undertaking.

Original name and idea: "30 Films, 30 Days"

Second name and idea: "20 Films, 20 Days"

Final name and idea:"4 weeks, 4 films"

I will begin and end production on each movie in a span of 7 days.

Because it has been a whole year and a half since my last post I expect this one will go undiscovered for a time. Regardless, I'll be letting you guys know plots and titles in the coming weeks.

My First Shift

2006-06-28T18:12:00.000-07:00

I have my first shift in College Park as a Shutle-UM bus driver on Friday the 30th. I'm nervous and I am riding along the route I will be driving for the first time tomorrow. Well, if you're in the neighborhood and need to take Beltway Plaza between 2 and 5:30 you might just know the bus driver. His name is smooth white chocolate.

Back from Mississippi

2006-01-14T22:47:00.000-08:00

So... after seeing the devastated areas of the Mississippi gulf coast in Biloxi, Ocean Springs, Waveland, and Pearlington, I can officially say, never live by water. I went with 31 fellow UofM students, including my fine piece of carrie, to try and make the very first step to rebuilding the coast. Unfortunately, that first step involves ripping the house down till only its stud frame remains. Needless to say, I broke lots of shit. After 6 days, our group was able to close 5 work orders and go on a special trip to Pearlingon to help set up a camp for future volunteers. Now for the "highlights"
*watching 16 MD students come into a church drunk and piss off a bunch of lutherans and a group of devoutly religious Minnesotans
*taking a coach bus to a bar to watch maryland get crushed by duke but being able to drink red stripe and miller lite without an id
*having a nightmare that took up 30 minutes of my life but being told I was only asleep for2 minutes before I woke up and exclaimed I just had a long ass creepy dream
*finding out that carrie is a much harder worker than I am
*finding out that if it involves a pickaxe, a crowbar, or a midget; I'm all over it

How I Fixed Carrie's Watch and Saved the World

2005-10-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

It's 6:10 am sunday morning, and after a crazy night at Rocky Horror Picture Show involving winning a raffle which entitled me to making out with some chick I've never met before and seeing Sarah's little sister rock harder then me, I am ready to fix carrie's watch.

Due to my amazing capability to " f it up," I sent the replacement watch to my house instead of my dorm and so I didn't get it until the 'rents visited me this wekend for 'Rents Family weekend which I will not blog about.(fun but not exciting enough) I take out the watch and start unscrewing the back and take out all the guts. I have already gutted carrie's watch and I replace the insides. Everythng works but the light so I switch to a newer battery and all of it works perfect. replaced all the screws and Eureka. I slept until 3 pm after this.

Carrie will never know the horrible truth, until I decide that I can get a few laughs from it. I'm pretty sure it will be a few months.

I fuck shit up

2005-09-30T14:31:00.000-07:00

all the time. even when there is barely anything to screw up or break, I screw it up or break it. Just a brief example before I get to the main event, the '88 volvo got a flat tire. I was tasked to put the spare on so we can take it to the tire place. Easy enough, I've replaced tires before, surely this would be like eating a baby, or candy or whatever. However, sparing the details, I completely broke the jack forever and the car almost rolled onto me. This was about 2 months ago, very first week of july I believe.
Sooooo. . .when I told Carrie that I could quickly take a look at her watch, the volvo incident of july '05 was nowhere near my mind. God hates me. So I took a look and the display was coming in very spottily. I decided we first should try just a new battery but it became evident that there was more to it then that. there is a small spring on the back of the watch that activates it and it wasn't being pressed down hard enough by the back casing. Displeased I attempted to just jury-rig it by just putting a little piece of whatever whatever back there(I know I said whatever twice). I did and Eureka!! all the letters numbers and symbols were blazing across the digital screen for about 5 seconds at which point the digital screen cracked with the added pressure in a specific point on the back. Expletives deleted for about 10 minutes and then came lots of pacing.
I fucked some shit up again, and there is no way I'm admiting it this time. this watch is getting fixed...and I will have to lie to carrie until a certain package arrives from a little rainforest I know.

My Best Game Ever

2005-08-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

My Best Game Ever
Originally uploaded by robbie g sic.

Kicking Off my few weeks of no working, Eli and I are trying to play golf everyday and on the first day back from Virginia I played the upper couse at mellomar and completely spanked it. Paul and Eli also had completely ridiculous games and I couldn't be happier that I beat them. Paul and Eli were getting very competitive going into the last couple of holes and I was pretty sure eli was gonna throw down especially after Paul's chant "miss it, miss it" on hole 8 worked twice on eli. Needless to say I will be walking away from golf forever.

Virginia Revisited

2005-08-09T08:52:00.000-07:00

11 of us made the trip up to Northern Neck this past weekend and it was well worth it. Eli, Ashleigh, Annie, Megan, Ben, Bobby, Scott, Jodi, Erin, Paul, and myself dedicated ourselves to drinking and boating as much as possible.

Highlights of the trip include:
#driving a jet ski which is bad-ass and I think I will try and get the Rents to buy one whenever I can
#trying to get into a 1 person kayak with 2 people at midnight while being completely drunk( me and annie were actually submerged but only for maybe 10 seonds and eli and jodi "flipped" immediately)
#falling asleep in a row boat at one in the morning and starting to snore while your best friend and a girl you both just meant start taking off clothes, wake up and being unable to stop yourself from laughing uncontrollably
#sinking a row boat after attempting to get it towed by the jet ski
#teaching Meg and Erin how to drive stick shift
#buying lottery tickets that were complete losers from Skipjack's Minimart

dodgeball

2005-06-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

it just crackes me up, they want to play a game again and again where they will inevitably get hit and then start crying. everyday for at least an hour I perscribe the kids a game of intense "prison dodgeball" where on average 1 kid per 2 rounds will cry, which sadly adds up to about 3 or so an hour and only accounts for 1/3 of all crying incidents per day. The point of the story is watching them cry is hilarious.

No entry found for dadsploitation.

2005-06-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

This is the message I recieved from dictionary.com as I tried to look up a word in david's blog. At first I thought, what went wrong, how can it not be a word, I am not stupid so it must be david's fault. Needless to say, I'm an idiot.

Back from the Toilet of America

2005-06-08T22:52:00.000-07:00

I got back from Northern Neck, Virgina today and was surprisingly tired. We(I went with Eli and Ashleigh) got there at around noon on monday morning and started things off right with a little bit of row boating which was fine except that, pardon my french, it was hot as balls, and my balls were twice as hot as that. Ashleigh's family owns a little 2 bedroom house in Pretty Point which is a community of houses right on the water. The house itself can best be described as "under construction" as there are no door knobs or maybe the house was just designed with "pervert holes" as I affectionately call them.

The rest of the weekend was devoted to: watching a few movies such as Spiderman 2, Lost in Translation, and Four Rooms; eating pasta salad; and playing golf. So in short, it was the greatest 2 and a half day trip I have been on in a while.

Back to why Northern Neck is a toilet. It's not that it is dirty, but everyone in and around it is. However, the lack of "The Man" is what I love about it, and you don't deal with things such as "traffic" or "people with teeth".

My favorite thing that happend while we were there was while buying groceries at the Northern Neck Food Lion. An elementary school class was on a field trip there. I can only assume that they got to see the awe inspiring workings of their local food shoppe like never before, except for when they are there with their own parents once a week, every week, for their entire lives.

My Original Provisional License

2005-06-03T12:54:00.000-07:00

My Original Provisional License
Originally uploaded by robbie g sic.

Here is my untouched scaned in photo that I probably did in the early 11th grade.

good to be back

2005-05-23T22:02:00.000-07:00

I'm amazed at how little has changed from when I went to college. I guess I thought that everyone would have ambitions and be excited about something but really everyone is sort of in the same boat with me. A boat that is surely a rockin', although aimlessly.

I went golfing today with Ashleigh(mixed double partner in high-school, a year older then me, and likes to worry), Larkin(friend through annie donovan, a year older then me, goes to UMD also) and Eli(no caption needed but if he had one(best friend, co-director, jackass) which turned out to be a really good time. I was worried because Ash and Lark had never really played golf beore but both turned out to be naturals which is really how I classsify my other siblings' progress except for steve but I'm sure he'd end up being good also/quickly frustrated.

Shortly after golfing I went to see Episode III with Carrie(best friend at college, knew her in high school but barely talked, killed a whole bottle of tequila together, chaos ensued), Izzy(friend from high school, went to prom with her my junior year, shares my obsession with Alias), and Eli(prick). I did not like it for the most part but it was probably the best of all three.

Holy Crap

2005-05-06T01:57:00.000-07:00

I just discovered that my long lost brother, whom at no point was lost, commented on my blog. What is tragic, is that I failed to realize that it was him until it hit me, what brother do I have whose first name is Steve??? ohhhhhhh . . .Steve . . of course. . . I'm an idiot.

Wave O' Babies

2005-04-08T01:10:00.000-07:00

So, it was about hour 22 of my Scrubs marathon when I realized that I haven't posted to attack my brother in weeks. Damn it. . . I don't think I can make fun of him ever again. . .well

5:15am

2005-02-25T02:15:00.000-08:00

I set out on a quest to make david look stupid. Some may ask, "Is that really necessary? He has been lookin pretty stupid for 20+ years just fine without your blog contributions" I really have no reply to that, other than "so . . . "